Writing Brave

Today, I attended a live webinar with the lovely Brooke Adams Law and I wanted to tell you a bit about what I took away from it. I heard Brooke during the Escape The Plot Forest Summit this year. She talked an hour about what it meant to be an intuitive writer and her talk had been a real relieve for me.

When I started writing my novel in earnest, I wanted to do it RIGHT. By the book. In real life, I am a very organised person. I am analyst, I am a list maker, I am a planner. Naturally, I assumed I was a planner when it came to writing my novel. I wanted to be prepared. I read about story structure, I learned about what made a story work, I learned where to put what and what needed to happen in which order to make a story work. I was especially smitten by the Save-The-Cat Beatsheet. I studied Jessica Brody's book Save the Cat - Writes a Novel and I also joined Jessica's Writing Mastery Academy. I did all the courses and I loved every bit of it. Still do. Because I love planning. And I so want to plan my book.

So, my theoretical knowledge has been quite sound by now. Imagine my surprise when I realised all this still hadn't brought me closer to writing the actual story. Why wasn't I writing? I spent hours devouring theory, making notes, preparing templates and thinking about the big questions, the framework.

What is my protagonist's wound? What is her need? What is her want? What is her objective? What about her character arc? What is her internal conflict? All important questions - so important they totally crippled me. I was so scared of putting the wrong thing down, of making the wrong decision, of being inconsistent, that I didn't write anything. Seven month and really countless hours I spent at the desk with my headphones on, and my word count was still close to zero. Although my research folder was bursting. 

All of this really got to me. I had trouble sleeping, because my head mulled over the same questions again and again. Why couldn't I figure it out? I was irritable and if I didn't have enough time to "write', I was really unbearable. During the Escape The Plot Forest Summit, I tried to catch as many talks as I could, making notes, soaking everything in. And all the while I sat there and was like 'I KNOW all this! Why can't I make it happen?'

And then I heard Brooke's talk and something clicked. Could I - Ms Bullet-Point-List - be actually not a plotter? Could I be a planner in real life and an intuitive writer nonetheless? I am pretty sure I am.

Apparently all I needed was someone telling me that there was no RIGHT way. That some people just can't outline. Some people write 100 words a day and it takes them a really long time to finish their work. Some people write 150.000 before they know what their novel will actually be about it. And only then will they start outling or their first "real" draft. 

Being an intuitive writer means trusting in your intuition. Trusting that the book you have in mind wants to be written. The story wants to be told by you. Not by anyone. By you. Because you are the one carrying it in your heart. It might take a while to get it out there. I might take years, decades even. It might be a very long and rocky road. You just have to trust in the process. You have to show up for your work and get the words down on the page.

Since I've heard this talk, I've started a new discovery draft and 'Ive written 12.180 new words in ten days. This is great for me and I am really happy.

Does it fit in any beat sheet? Absolutely not.

Is it well written? Hell no!

Do I know where my story is going? Not a clue.

But I am having fun with my characters. I am having them do the things I've had in mind for them for so long. I'm just letting them run free on the page. And I trust that the story will emerge at some point, ready to be polished.

So much for today from me. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Are you a plotter or an intuitive writer? Are you something else in real life than when you are writing just like me? Let me know in the comments or let's connect on Instagram!